Simon Beale's Blog

Are they 'avin a laugh!?!

May, at last. Now, before you think Simon Cowell has taken over Heartbreakers, no, it's still me (surely you could tell from the height of my trouser waistline) - it's just my teeth are in a better condition after a dreaded visit to the dentist the other day.

No matter how regularly you go, it's still a grim experience. What makes my visit a little more depressing is that my wife and kids all have excellent teeth ... and they sit in the chair before me. So there's lots of comments like "Oooh lovely. Very nice" and "Haven't you looked after your teeth well. Congratulations". Then I sit down. Open my mouth and the dentist will just start calling out numbers and letters and making sarcastic remarks about how many fillings I have. I'm even sure I heard her tut at one point, shaking her head ever so slightly.

But it's the questioning that gets me. She said they'd give my teeth a clean - and before I could reply "Actually, I've cleaned them 5 times today knowing I was coming here", there was that little round mirror, an electric toothbrush thing and that horrid sucking tube wedged in my mouth. So how does she then expect me to answer her questions? I'm struggling not to choke, as she asks "why are all your fillings on the bottom row?" - and my reply came out as "Iahosufnbdawrhuihf asdlkjwey thrwaowieu"... which bizarrely she seemed to understand. Maybe she was just being polite.

Finally, you get given that plastic cup full of pink (or in this case, green) mouthwash. What IS that stuff? Can't they find something that tastes nice? It's like swirling a load of car anti-freeze round your gums (I'm guessing). Probably the most painful bit though is just as you're about to walk out the door, and they charge you money for the privilege!! Ouch.

Still, I don't need to go back til November by which time, the anti-freeze could come in handy.

See you tonight at 10.

Simon
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Posted by Simon Beale on May 01, 2008 at 10:34AM

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